This is the only incident I’ve experienced in a non-gay setting. This happened in February 2020 in a bar – it’s one of those hidden locations that you might struggle to find unless you know where you’re going. 

I always look forward to playing a gig there because they have a strict music policy – unquantized disco and funk, vinyl only. It’s very testing, which I love and it’s an excuse to show off my prized rarities. 

On said evening, I’m well into my set and really having to work hard to keep things going. The dancefloor is busy, and I can see that there are a few new faces in the crowd. I notice that there’s an older gay man (early 50s I’d estimate) and he’s drunk. As an observer, I feel like his behaviour is inappropriate but no-one in the group he’s with seems to mind. As the evening progresses, I keep catching him staring at me, but I try to act like I’ve not noticed. I’m mid-way through mixing two records and really concentrating on what I’m doing and looking down at the mixer, when a hand suddenly appears and tries to pull my hand off the fader. I look up and it’s him. I tell him to wait until I’ve finished and then I’ll speak with him. When I’m finished, I just ask, “are you alright” and he starts telling me about how much he loves Diana Ross and that I should play something for him. He then starts telling me that I’m “the most handsome DJ {I’ve} ever seen”. I just smile and say I’ll see if I have something in my record bag. Then, out of nowhere, with both hands he grabs my face and pulls me towards him. It happens quickly and he tries to push his tongue into my mouth. I could taste the smoke on his breath. I pull away and say I’m not interested as I have a husband (a white lie – but in my experience saying that you’re not attracted to someone doesn’t discourage them, whereas marriage does). His faces changes, he calls me a slag, spits in my drink and walks off. Thankfully, one of the barmen saw the whole thing and was coming to intervene – the man and his group are asked to leave. There’s some commotion, and the man leaves in a huff but the group are allowed to stay as he actually wasn’t with them, they were simply tolerating him. 

I finish my set and order an uber home – I live within walking distance, but I have my record bag with me which is heavy and valuable. The bar is in the basement so I can’t see outside, I wait for the alert on my phone to say the taxi has arrived. As I leave the bar to find my taxi, I see the man across the street waiting for me and he starts shouting at me. I can’t make out some of what he says, but he’s calling me a slag and whore. I get in the taxi and leave. The taxi driver asks me if I’m ok.