I had just started djing and got a friend request from another DJ, we had similar taste in music and after talking for a while I agreed to meet. He seemed really nice, told me that he wanted me to play at his party and travel with him to his next gig, which I found odd as we had only just met, but was exciting for me as a DJ who was just starting out. At this time I had no idea what a narcissist or ‘love bombing’ was, and I developed feelings for him.
The first bad experience I had happened just a few weeks after we met. He was promoting a party at OHM and during a B2B set he left the booth and grabbed me by the hand, leading me to the bathroom. He locked the door and quickly and aggressively pushed me down to give him head. I didn’t feel comfortable but I thought he cared about me so I went along with it. Afterwards he discarded me in a cold way, and went back to DJing, leaving me feeling empty, confused and physically shaking. After the party he was nice to me, so I let it go.
He started to alienate me from my friends in Berlin, if I went to a club he would tell me he was going to kill himself and I would have to leave. If he thought I was talking to any male he would make a drama, he made me leave his flat in the middle of the night because I liked another male DJs instagram photo, and if I refused sex he would harass me until I gave in or accuse me of sleeping with others (which later I found out he was doing behind my back, even leaving me in his bed after having sex with me to go sleep with another girl and then come back and sleep beside me) so I would end up doing things that I didn’t want just for peace. He also convinced me to stop taking my anti-anxiety medication and that ‘we would find another solution together’. I ended up alone and feeling dependent on him.
After 1 year he moved on to a new girl and I ended up in hospital after having a breakdown from the emotional abuse. I blocked him everywhere but he would keep coming back and triangulating me and the new girl he was now in a relationship with. One day he made up a lie to make me meet him and while he was in my apartment the other girl emailed me to let me know that he had physically assaulted her that day and she called the police. I kicked him out of my apartment, he went to her place and kicked a massive hole in her door to enter her apartment and physically assaulted her again. The police came and he was given a restraining order.
Despite knowing he was an abuser, I continued to see him as I was attached. He ended up also being physically aggressive to me on different occasions threatening to punch me, throwing chairs at me and kicking me.
We have both called him out on social media, as well as another woman who has called him out for online sexual harassment. So far he has taken no accountability for his actions, and continues to use his position as a DJ to find new women to take advantage of, meanwhile including female artists who are unaware of his history in his projects as a way to clean his image.